I'm a lifelong Massachusetts resident and recent UMASS Dartmouth graduate with a degree in writing, rhetoric, and communications.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chris-Griglack/152355034823889
"Proactive" used to be a seldom used word that meant taking care of problems before they arise. Now if you google the term the first result is for the company Proactiv, makers of multiple products that all do the exact same thing: treat acne. If you've ever watched late night TV you've been assaulted with Proactiv long-form commercials featuring mostly B-list actresses (and Adam Levine) and testimonials from regular jack-offs like yourself. They play them relentlessly during late-night TV because that's when all the acne-having uglies are at home watching TV, but you've probably seen them during the day or evening too, because Proactiv is nothing if not persistent about making you feel bad about yourself.
Almost every Proactiv commercial follows the same basic formula. A celebrity tells you "I know I'm widely regarded as a standard of beauty that you can only dream about achieving, but even I sometimes get pimples and can feel insecure about myself. But it's ok, because I just use Proactiv instead of dealing with my unhealthy self-esteem problems." This is followed by a friendly voice-over explaining the scientific and medical workings of the "new" Proactiv (every single Proactiv commercial describes their product as a new product) while a cartoon graphic shows acne disappearing and pores being cleaned by their "secret" "advanced micro-crystal medicine." User testimonials about how Proactiv changed people from losers to confident popular people will then play while of course showing before and after pictures with a disclaimer saying "results will vary." Almost all of these commercials end the same way as a basic infomercial ends: by telling you the products are worth so much more than what you'll pay if you call within some set time limit, because you don't just need to buy their product, you need to buy it right now.
The basic format of these commercials is insulting, but even worse are the actual user testimonials which seem to have been heavily edited to ensure they're as vapid and meaningless as possible. One commercial features the line "you put it on and it just feels like it's making those blackheads come out, just like pow pow pow." which basically sums up what Proactiv thinks of the average intelligence of its customers. That same commercial actually describes the product using the term "miracle gel," which should automatically raise all sorts of red flags the same way that any snake-oil salesman claiming to have a miracle product does. Another commercial trying to sell a special brush that somehow applies their miracle product in a way that's more miraculous claims that "This isn't just any brush, it's the only one from the doctors at Proactiv," or in other words, "this isn't just any brush, it's the only one made by the people we employ!"
But if all that talk of doctors and product value are too much for you, don't worry, because Proactiv actually makes an almost identical product that's targeted at a much more impressionable and less knowledgeable audience: teenagers. X Out is "the world's first wash-in treatment" which seems to imply that it's a different type of product than Proactiv despite being and doing the exact same thing. Commercials for this product are completely devoid of any kind of meaningful information, revealing that the makers of Proactiv think selling their product to children is like shooting fish in a barrel. They feature lines like "You can feel it working with a blast of icy cool," followed by clear-faced teens saying things like "like a WOOSH of wind," and "it's just, SCHHH, AHHH." The ads always end by saying that unlike most legitimate products, it's not sold in a store so call now and order to get free products.
The main problem with these commercials is that it tells you it's not OK to have any sort of skin blemishes. Sure, everyone gets them, even B-list celebrities, but if you want to be confident and successful you need this product to get rid of them, and you need a steady supply of it because you're not actually preventing future blemishes the way the word "proactive" suggests, you're just getting rid of already existing ones. They put themselves forward as a company that's helping people overcome their self-esteem issues, but what they really do is prey on those insecurities by offering the simple solution of "just be better looking." The way they present the products in their commercials makes it very clear that the makers of Proactiv only care about selling as many products as possible to the most impressionable and unintelligent audience they can find. If you need any more proof that Proactiv truly believes that beauty and happiness are only skin deep, look no further than this simple internet ad:
Recently I was scrolling through my Facebook "newsfeed" (feed trough) looking for some mindless feel-good stories, when a story about a prostitution sting caught my eye because it's much more interesting than your stupid kids and pets. It struck me as odd that prostitution stings designed to catch would-be customers rather than those running the prostitution rings still take place. In fact, it's startling to think that we live in a society which any number of sexual acts between consenting adults are perfectly fine, but as soon as there's any mention of money everyone involved becomes a criminal.
Opponents of prostitution argue that it leads to the abuse and sometimes even slavery of the sex workers, which is obviously a very serious and valid complaint. However, keeping prostitution illegal does not solve that problem, it intensifies it. By keeping it a criminal activity, we force prostitutes to associate with pimps rather than legitimate business owners, we give them no legal recourse if abused or cheated, and we give society another excuse to not care about their well-being. The way we handle prostitution right now is equivalent to trying to prevent abuse of racing greyhounds by arresting everyone involved, including the responsible owners, the dogs themselves, and anyone who shows up to place a bet.
Of course there's also the moral "argument" that prostitution and is a degenerate activity which destroys families and communities. You know, just like gambling. This line of thought is so puritanical that it was the basic argument used by the Temperance movement to pass prohibition. We live in a world in which hundreds of websites, dozens of apps, and most bars exist for the express purpose of finding people to have relatively anonymous sex with. If your will is really so weak that you'd devolve into a life of debauchery simply because the option is suddenly available, then you may as well start enforcing burkas.
The United States has a multi-billion dollar industry that revolves around just watching other people have sex; the amount of revenue they could bring in with legalized prostitution is astronomical. They could regulate the industry to significantly reduce STD transmission, abuse, payment disputes, ensure that registered sex workers stay within designated areas instead of just walking the street. Legalizing prostitution would also take money out of the hands of criminal organizations and prevent treating otherwise productive members of society like criminals for engaging in a consensual recreational activity.
There isn't a single good reason to continue enforcing our current prostitution laws. Every dollar spent by our police on stings to arrest customers or close down brothels is an affront to your rights as a consenting adult. This Valentine's Day, consider a hooker and tell your legislators that you're sick of the current system generally screwing everybody.
Since as of the time I'm writing this the Playstation Network is still down, I've been playing The Wolf Among Us on an un-networked PS4 instead of the game I was really looking forward to since I made my Christmas list. If you haven't heard of this game before, it's probably because it's far from your typical video game
The Wolf Among Us is by Telltale Games, a company which is practically synonymous with the genre of game they make. It describes itself as a "graphic adventure game," but contrary to almost every other use of the word "graphic" to describe video games, what it means is that it's an incredibly immersive story-based role playing game (don't worry, it's also graphic). There is little of what modern gamers would recognize as gameplay. You don't run around through an environment of non-stop action and linear story. Instead, this game focuses on bringing you an in-depth look at a pivotal series of events in the lives of its characters. Player interaction with the game is almost entirely in the form of choosing how your character responds to others and what he notices in the environment. By now most of you are probably thinking "that sounds boring," and you'd be right, if not for the phenomenal story the game is based around.
You play as Bigby Wolf (read Big B. Wolf) the Sheriff of a small community of Fables living in New York City. Fables are characters from myths, legends, and especially fairy tales who live in the real world, but instead of the Disney versions you're probably used to, none of these Fables lived happily ever after. This dark, half-familiar world is the perfect setting for a game which revolves around story and character: the way you interact with the story elements allows you to either flush out details and become a part of this unique community, or shut yourself out like a cold son of a bitch.
The amount of influence you have over the game is reminiscent of old text-based games or a choose-your-own-adventure novel. The game allows you to choose how your character acts in the world, whether that's a by-the-books lawman, loose-cannon cop, or dozens of in-betweens, and the NPCs react accordingly. What you say and what you do affects the development of all the characters, and good or bad, you'll have to live with the consequences for the rest of the game. Sometimes you'll pick what you think sounds like a reasonable dialogue choice and immediately regret it when another character throws it back in your face, sometimes you'll be surprised how well things worked out for you. More than anything you'll feel that your choices are an integral part of how the story advances.
The graphics aren't stunning, but they do fit the game by further its graphic novel style. The same could be said about the controls. For most of the game you can hold the controller with one hand while you snack with the other, although you definitely still have to pay attention as NPCs will just assume you're giving them the silent treatment if you take too long to respond. Overall I'd say if you're looking for a fast-paced action-packed game then this is definitely not the choice for you. If you want a unique story with amazing scripting that feels fresh the entire way through (guaranteed no grinding) then you'll probably want to play this a few times over.
Apples to Oranges - It's an expression that means two things are totally different and beyond comparison, yet apples and oranges aren't that different. They're both fruits, they grow on trees, have skin on the outside and seeds inside, etc. Any 4th grader could draw you a venn diagram of apples and oranges. It would make more sense to say "like nuclear submarines to shag carpets."
The Definition of Insanity Is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over and Expecting Different Results - That could be the definition of "unreasonable expectations," but mental health professionals around the world have a very long and precise list of what constitutes a serious mental illness, (ie insanity) and somewhere in there is repeating sayings as if they're facts.
It Takes All Kinds - No it doesn't. The world would be much better off without some kinds. Rapists, violent psychopaths, corrupt authority figures, etc are not essential parts of our society, and neither is the shitty person you're defending when you say "it takes all kinds."
Engaged To Be Married - Unless you're also stupid to be unlearned pick one.
Yeah, No/No, Yeah - A totally different case of just pick one. People use this almost as a filler to show they're paying attention but it does the exact opposite. It always just sounds like "I don't care, it's my turn to talk now."
Public Nuisance - Generally used to describe low level offenders who have pissed off their neighbors. Should be used to describe Wall St. bankers who crippled our economy, "too big to fail" companies which required bailouts, companies who destroy the environment, corrupt politicians, and all others who routinely screw large groups of people for their own gain. A Wal-Mart in your town is a bigger public nuisance than any of your neighbors will ever be.
ATM Machine/PIN Number - Just as dumb as saying scuba apparatus, light laser, NASCAR racing, gross GDP, or Navy NCIS.
Fight Fire with Fire - Have you ever wondered why flamethrowers aren't standard issue for firefighters (outside of Fahrenheit 451)? It's because fire is one of the least effective ways of fighting fire. Every Pokemon trainer knows this.
You Can't Make This Stuff Up/Stranger Than Fiction - All sayings that try to tell you real life is more surprising than imagination are complete BS. In real life you go to work and the most interesting thing that can possibly happen is Keifer Sutherland bursts onto the scene to detain your boss who is really a terrorist. It could happen, but it won't. Because real life blows.
Keep Calm And . . . - It doesn't matter what you follow that with, all options are terrible. I don't know or care how people began attaching literally anything you could think of to this phrase and thinking themselves somehow clever or amusing, but it has to stop if we as a society are to progress.
You Don't Know Me - Has never been said by someone I'd like to get to know. Routinely used as a way of saying "don't judge me" in the most aggressively bitchy way possible. It's a sure sign that the speaker is defensive, withdrawn, and unable or unwilling to express complex ideas.
Sassy - People who describe themselves as "sassy" are basically saying that they think they're clever but they're really just annoying. It's a quality that people seem to think is endearing despite the fact that it's very heavily tied in with narcissism. Sassy people think that whatever they have to say is important, and they aren't afraid to interrupt or belittle the ideas of others to show how smart they think they are. For whatever reason we almost always use this term for women and gay men, but the closest thing we use for men is probably "smug" (although I personally think "smug" has passive connotations while "sassy" is more active).
I recently came across this article through a Facebook friend about an Oklahoma City police officer being charged with three dozen counts of sexual assault. It's obviously a very troubling story but not exactly what I want to talk about here. While I do hope for all victims of abuse of any kind to receive justice, what I couldn't stop focusing on was the picture in the article, which I've reproduced here. (picture credit to Paul L. McCord Jr. [I think. The original article just gives that name with a link to a Flickr page. Although that's more credit than the writer, Mr. or Ms. "Feminist Newswire" received])
It took me a while to wrap my head around this picture because I wasn't aware that Oklahoma City refers to itself as "The City of Oklahoma City," which, let's be honest with ourselves, is completely insane. I stared at the text in this photo for a while trying to make sense of it, because surely, I thought, no one would do that. Instead this poorly designed logo (note the weird spacing) must be meant to be read like "The City of Oklahoma: City Police," or even "The City of Oklahoma City Police" with no breaks or pauses in a misguided attempt at seeming protective while really just being ominously possessive. Somehow worse than that is the actual answer: Oklahoma City is the city equivalent of a person who talks in third person.
If you go the extra mile and add the state to the end you have "The City of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma," (capital city of the state of Oklahoma) which can easily be said with just the two words: "Oklahoma City." It needs no further explanation. It's literally smack dab in the middle of Oklahoma, and unlike what you probably think of when you hear "Oklahoma," it's a city. If you had never heard of it before there are still two assumptions you would have made upon hearing of Oklahoma City: 1) it is a city 2) it is in Oklahoma. But still, just in case you didn't figure it out, Oklahoma City would like to remind you that it is a city.
Further investigations into this matter show that there is no Town of Oklahoma City, no Oklahoma City County, (the county the city is in is actually called [surprise] Oklahoma County) no People's Republic of Oklahoma City, no State of Oklahoma and Oklahoma City Plantations, and as far as I can tell there are no celestial bodies of any kind named Oklahoma City (although who knows what's really out there?). There are no other places, concepts or entities of any kind with which Oklahoma City can possibly be confused, so why are they doubling down on the citys (sic) like they're pieces of fried chicken that are somehow the healthiest parts of the sandwich they're in?
To be fair to Oklahoma City, they are still the number one city in the US if you rank cities by the number of times they call themselves a city. Even New York sticks to at most just New York City or the City of New York, but never both at the same time, so in that regard they beat what is largely considered the greatest city in the world. Congratulations. Now that that's been said they can finally stop overcompensating and stick to being one city at a time.
I know I'm a little behind with this review as the game came out at the end of August, but I finally had the chance to play through Bioshock Infinite this weekend, and it is hands down my favorite shooter of the year. I loved the previous two installments of Bioshock for their gritty sci-fi/horror take on first person shooters, but this one blew the others out of the water in terms of story, depth, and gameplay.
Bioshock Infinite takes place in 1912 in the city of Columbia, which is the Heaven to Rapture's (the underwater city of the first two games) Hellish nightmare city. Columbia floats high above the clouds while Rapture is sunk deep beneath the ocean, and the society of Columbia is a virtual utopia founded on American patriotism and a cult-like sect of Christianity. While the first two installments had you fighting zombie-like junkies with guns and genetically modified powers you inject into yourself, in Infinite you'll be fighting more or less normal humans with twisted ambitions. You no longer inject yourself with plasmids to grant powers either, Columbia's technology allows you to drink a tonic which uses the salts in your character's body to power the genetic enhancements. The overall feel of Columbia is that it's a city which managed to pull off the utopia that Rapture was aiming for, but after spending about 5 minutes walking through its streets you'll get the feeling that the society is far too good to be true, even if you haven't played the other games.
The image of perfection shatters when you attend the Founder's Day raffle and are greeted with some old fashioned racism like a slap in the face, and when I say that I mean they don't slowly build up to it, the way it's introduced will make you say "Woah," when you get to it. At this point things turn sour very quickly for the main character, Booker DeWitt. He's labeled as the "False Prophet," the equivalent of "Enemy of the State" in this brainwashed community. From here you evade and kill the people coming after you until you meet up with Elizabeth, and things really start getting interesting. I'm not exaggerating when I say that Elizabeth may be the coolest support character ever to appear in a shooter game. She will find you money, open locked doors and safes, throw you health packs and salt when you are running low, and toss you fully loaded guns when you are running low on ammo, replenishing your ammo stock and removing the need for reload time every once in a while. You don't need to protect her from being killed, she's not just thrown in as fan service or eye candy, and she has some really cool abilities which I won't go into because they tie into the central story and I'm trying to avoid spoilers.
The actual gameplay is very similar to the previous Bioshock installments, but with the added bonus of a shield which recharges after taking cover for a few seconds, gear which adds abilities (don't worry no RPG type stats to manage) and the addition of Elizabeth which, as already mentioned, is awesome. All your weapons and powers are upgradable through the currency system used in Columbia: Silver Eagles, and your health, shield, and salt levels are upgraded by drinking Infusions found throughout the game, usually in the more secretive areas. Instead of farming Big Daddies and Little Sisters for ADAM the optional content of this game is found through exploring locked rooms which Elizabeth opens for you, code books and ciphers which she also decodes, and locked chests that you need to find keys for. There's enough optional content in the game to keep you entertained, and it's arranged in such a way that you won't need to backtrack for half an hour to get back to the actual mission.
The highlight of Bioshock Infinite is the amazingly beautiful and complex world through which the story is presented. Like its predecessors, Infinite is built on a world of duality which harkens back to the olden days of the early 20th century: men and women wear hats, the music is all done in styles which the majority of gamers are not going to hear anywhere except in games like this and Fallout (listen closely for some fantastic anachronistic versions of songs like "Tainted Love" and "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"), and nobody walks around staring at a handheld device. At the same time though, this is a flying city with automated "Patriots" and a giant mechanical bird to protect it, and they've developed a tonic that allows you to do things like shoot fire or lightning out of your hands or summon a flock of crows to attack. It's a world which appears to be a utopia, yet just a scratch at the surface shows the atrocities it's built upon, and the propaganda used to keep the people believing.
And if I can just go back to the music for a moment. Except in combat scenes, the music in this game is not at all background music. Every time you encounter a radio, phonograph, or the few "live" musical scenes it's a captivating event that reminds you just how similar this world is to our own. I know I just put a lot of time into telling you how different and unique the world of Infinite is, but when you stop to listen to the beautiful rendition of "Shake Sugaree" sung in Shantytown or this haunting version of "Fortunate Son" sung while a war rages all around, it gives you the feeling that the people of this world are not so different from those of our own. They have the same ambitions of greed, revenge, redemption, longing for freedom, love, and hope. (Video may have minor spoilers but if you haven't played through the game it's almost certainly not what you think)
Bioshock Infinite is an all-around stunning game, easily the best of the Bioshock games and easily the most original and entertaining shooter of the year. I recently bought it used for about half price, but I wish I had purchased it on release for full price because I was missing out. I highly recommend picking up a copy of your own, this is a game I definitely won't be trading in anytime soon.
