Good Riddance

Hurry home without delay

The storm is on its way.

The fog rolls in, to skin it clings,

And all it eats away.

The wind it roars

Through bone it bores

To strip away the sin.

Killers, thieves, and common whores

Never seen again.

So hurry home my wayward child

Soon the rain will fall,

The tide will rise up to the skies

And wash away us all.

The Process

Conform to our standards of innovation

Proven to make integrity profitable.

In an effort to reduce redundancy

All employees are now their own supervisors.

Waste not, want not.

There are starving children in India

Which is why we are laying off half of you

And moving our offices to New Delhi.

We're in the business of making our customers happy,

But we have a lot of customers

So go for quantity over quality.

Success can't be measure in dollars.

For a more accurate representation

Measure the meniscus of your liquid assets.

Remember,

Your large sums of money can never comfort you,

But the employees you own have to

If you add it to their job description.